A Wedding Woe

You’re getting married, hip hip hooray the day is finally here,
All the planning and the preparation you’ve been busy with all year.
The dress is hung, the hair is done your nails are looking fine,
The cake is baked, the balloons are afloat, the tables set with wine.

It’s too late now the day has begun you cannot change a thing,
You just hope for the best, get on with it and pray he’s got the ring.
There’s a nervous feeling in your belly it’s normal you’ve been told,
Something just doesn’t feel right as you utter ‘To have and to hold’.

Your hands are getting clammy, and your forehead starts to sweat,
By the time you hear ‘kiss the bride’ you really start to fret.
This isn’t right, no it’s not true there is no way it can be,
It’s my wedding day, the best day of my life this cannot happen to me.

A bride is supposed to experience a day dreamed of as a girl,
Not collapsed in a bathroom round a toilet about to hurl.
The worst thing has happened that can’t be fixed by any drug,
You’ve gone and caught a nasty, evil, twisted sickness bug.

Your gills are green, you feel like hell and your skin is deathly pale,
You smell of sick, your hair is lank your standing weak and frail.
You try to hold the tears back, smudged mascara is pointless now,
Your perfect wedding day was over just after you said your vow.

It may be a catastrophe, a nightmare straight from hell,
It wont be a wonderful story you will be much willing to tell.
It may have been an ordeal you never thought you would get through,
Yet remember you still held it together enough to say ‘I do’.

Don’t dwell on the sad thoughts, of a day full of disaster,
Just be glad of the positive you didn’t throw up on the Toastmaster.
Your groom was great he held your hair and wiped your slimy chin,
You knew he was a keeper when he washed out your vomit bin.

You married the person you love, and no bug can take that away,
For better, for worse, in sickness and health, you got through your wedding day.
Take away the frills, the spills and in all that’s said and done,
Nothing else really matters as you have finally found ‘The One’.

So yes, I will always be that Bride who was sick the day she wed,
But at least I got through most of it before collapsing in my bed.
What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, that is surely true,
So I’m off on my Honeymoon now to have a glass of wine or two.

(True story)

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