I am 40 years old and since having my daughter who is now 4 and is my fourth child, (yes that’s a lot of 4’s and no I’m definitely not having any more), I have had regular periods.
In my teens, I was never regular and the time of the month was whenever it felt like turning up and I just dealt with it because I never had any pains or problems as it was relatively unnoticed apart from the normal monthly hassle of dealing with bleeding for 5 days or so.
However, since having my daughter I have increased pain during ovulation, which sometimes last for as little as 30 minutes but it is intense.
I can now pinpoint ovulation precisely, which would have been handy when I wanted to get pregnant but now it is just an intense pain in the arse!
It’s like the beginning of labour some months! When I don’t get those pains it can sometimes signal a black period.
These black periods show me what hell hormones can be. It is difficult for men to understand I get that, but OMG saying “Is this what ‘I’ have to put up with when you go through the change!” is not helpful in the slightest, and just makes me want to throw something at my beloved.
It is difficult to explain but often I feel like I can’t cope when these black periods appear at certain times of the month. Things that I normally deal with – tidying up children’s rubbish and teenager hassles seem unbearable.
I often think ‘what is life about? ‘Why am I here?’ sometimes I feel like I could get into my car and just drive away. Within about 48 hours I feel much better but when I am within the blackness I feel I will never get out.
Speaking or texting friends or my sis or mum helps to make me feel better. I do tell my hubbie but his stress on hearing this is to moan about the uselessness of my children (his stepchildren) he thinks their laziness (and yes they are sometimes) is what causes it.
It isn’t it is the imbalance of hormones in my brain and the blackness. I think it is easier not to include him in my feelings as I think it just worries him (I don’t think men can understand the hopelessness of it all as just mention Periods and they are out the room.)
The only option is to clench your teeth and talk to a female who actually does understand.
I don’t know how I will be when I go through the Menopause, as women we have to deal with a lot when it comes to hormones.
I will just have to hope that I can learn to keep my mind strong and rely on my female family and friends to get me through.
Oh and my love of red wine may help sometimes too.
Do you ever have periods of blackness at certain times of the month? How do you deal with them?
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