You’ve heard the saying ‘You and whose Army?’ probably when you were in the school playground. It is used as an expression of disbelief in someone’s ability to carry out a threat. Read more
You’ve heard the saying ‘You and whose Army?’ probably when you were in the school playground. It is used as an expression of disbelief in someone’s ability to carry out a threat. Read more
Ah, the pre-child smugness we all feel when we cast our innocent eyes and judgement over parents going about their day, silently thinking ‘I’d never do that with my children’. Read more
You’re getting married, hip hip hooray the day is finally here,
All the planning and the preparation you’ve been busy with all year.
The dress is hung, the hair is done your nails are looking fine,
The cake is baked, the balloons are afloat, the tables set with wine. Read more
Thank you Mr Tumble for everything you do,
Without even knowing it you’ve saved a war or two.
They fight in the kitchen; they fight in the hall,
Yet when you’re on the telly it instantly stops the brawl. Read more
I know you are amazing, and a miracle to behold
But let’s face the fact you’re starting to wilt now you’re getting old
You birthed two baby boys and did not need a stitch
Yet the trauma left my pubic hair like a half mowed football pitch Read more