10 Signs that you are now a Mother

I was thinking recently about how my life has changed since becoming a mother. I don’t think I really thought a lot about my own thoughts and feelings, one because I don’t have a lot of time to think and two because most of my thoughts are about how every one else is feeling.

Have a read of these 10 signs and see if you can relate to any of them now that you are a mum.

  1. Time of the month – That dreaded time we all think sh*t another 5 days of changing your own nappy as well as the babies, but is it just me or since becoming a parent do you find that when you wear a tampon and go to the toilet for a number 2 it half falls out?! I suppose another human has been pushed out of my funnel so it’s going to be a bit roomier, but can’t it even withstand a small strain? Talk about making you feel sh*t. (No pun intended!)
  2. To do lists – Before I had children I used to write things like ‘Book the Spain holiday’ or ‘Pay the deposit on Spa weekend’ or ‘Text Sarah to arrange Lunch’ now my lists are more ‘Wipe the dry crusty bogey stain off the living room curtain’ and ‘Text Sarah to say sorry again for getting sick on her new Ted Baker bag’.
  3. Different Wardrobe – My wardrobe is bursting with clothes but I only actually wear about 4 of the outfits on rotation? I have 6 pairs of leggings and about 3 day time tops and 4 work outfits and I just wear the same thing week in and week out so why the hell do I have so many clothes hanging up because I never wear any of them?
  4. Obsessing over Time – If I get everyone ready by 7.30am that leaves me 20 minutes to put my ‘face’ on. If I watch this telly show that means I’ll have 30 minutes after to do this or that before bed and if we have sex (doubtful see number 8) then that’s 20 minutes extra before I can get into my p.j’s and if I fall asleep straight away then it will give me 4 hours before I need to wake up for a pee…..blah blah blah I spend half my life thinking about how much time I have.
  5. A drop in personal hygiene – I used to actually style my hair and occasionally paint my nails. Since becoming a parent it is now pony tails most days, either because I haven’t got time (see number 4) to do it, or it’s greasy as I haven’t had time (see number 4) to wash it yet, or I just can’t be ‘arsed’ to straighten or curl it. I think in the last 4 years I have painted my nails about 3 times! I remember the days when every Sunday night I would pick a new colour and have freshly pained talons each week.
  6. A change in what window your shopping – I used to love fingering all the clothes in posh shops that I could only dream of buying for myself in the innocent days before children, now I find I am in Next salivating over their children’s section thinking how nice it would be to dress my kids head to toe in ‘cool and fashionable’ clothes rather than hand me downs that are about 3rd generation now (you can’t beat a good hand me down though right?!)
  7. Appreciating other half – I used to shriek with delight when my other half surprised me with a trip away for the night or a meal in a fancy restaurant, now I am a parent my expectations are so much lower that I want to kiss him all over when he is the first one to jump up and change a ‘Poo’ bum or he tells me he is taking the kids to the park for 30 minutes (whoop whoop 30 minutes of ‘me’ time).
  8. Sex – Before becoming parents we actually used to have sex you know the rest…
  9. Happiness – I used to find happiness in my sunny holidays abroad and nights away, obviously as well as being totally in love with my children happiness is now having a bin with a fresh bin bag in it, or only having to wipe a bum once (yes toddlers or mine), having a shower, doing a really satisfying poo or pretending I have a million pounds to spend and looking on rightmove 
  10. Worrying – Before children I didn’t really worry about much at all apart from whether to watch Strictly Come Dancing or record it and go out. Now I find myself sitting in bed waiting for sleep to come (see number 4) worrying about when my 1 year old and 3 year old reach 17 and they want to learn to drive, or when they want to go to the pub and drink an alcoholic beverage…. No stay here with mummy wrapped up in this large cotton wool ball so anything bad can never happen to you. (Reality check, I don’t really have a big cotton wall ball, although that would be handy to shove down my pants to help with Number 1 hopefully it wouldn’t fall out then)

It’s funny how our lives completely change when we become a mother yet we would never want it any other way. How have things changed for you since you became a parent?

 

 

Rhyming with Wine
This Mum's Life

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22 Replies to “10 Signs that you are now a Mother”

  1. Oh my life, this is all so painfully (and funny!!) true…!! And I feel better now I know I’m not the only one whose tampon launches out when I do a poo…!! I’m like ‘oh my god, am I really just a wizards sleeve down there?!’ I hadn’t mentioned it to anyone, but now I know it’s a thing, I might start a support group for pooping tampon ejectors!! Are you in?! I have only worn leggings for the last 5 years too… I really want to get into jeans and nice trousers again, but the baby weight is glued to my bum, and leggings seem the only option! Rightmove is one of my happy places-nosing around homes I can’t afford-perfect!!
    #bigpinklink

    1. Ha ha it’s definitely a thing, everyone I know laughs about it too so you should absolutely start a support group, I am in and I can find you your next 9 members!! We can also compare leggings and rightmove searches lol 🙂 xx

  2. OMG I struggled to read past number 1. I’m crying! I thought it was just me! They should make post VBAC baby tampons 😀 This is all so so so depressingly true. Although number 8 is different for us as I used to work A LOT and now I’m a Stay at Home mum so we actually see each other… 😉
    #BigPinkLink

    1. Ha! Yes they would make a fortune lol!! Good to hear that you can miss out number 8 from the list wink wink xx

  3. Yes, yes and yes! Definitely number 4, which also includes using CBeebies as some kind of constant alarm clock – if we leave the house before Bing, we’re doing well, if Postman Pat sets off on a special delivery we’re definitely going to be late!! #BigPinkLink

    1. Yes!!! We do exactly the same as soon as postman pat comes on that’s our queue to get shoes on!!! Brilliant!! 🙂 Thanks for commenting xx

  4. As to the time of the month comment, I had the depo shot, best thing ever, no more periods and my headaches got better #bigpinklink@_karendennis

  5. Oh yes to pretty much all of the above! I am constantly on some sort of agenda / regime, and trying to factor in exactly how many minutes I will need to accomplish any given task. Plus happiness totally is a fresh bin bag. *sighs blissfully* 😉 Loved this. Thanks for sharing with #DreamTeam x

    1. I feel crazy sometimes counting minutes but ever since becoming a mum all I seem to do is think about time!! So glad I am not the only one. Thank you for commenting xx

  6. My kids are defiantly better dressed than I am.
    I live by the clock – before having kids I didn’t even wear a watch. Now there is never enough time for everything.
    I lament the passing of lavish** holidays… now I’m weighing up how long the flight/drive is and if it’s ‘great for kids of all ages’
    #DreamTeam

    ** lavish – beaches, booze, fancy restaurants and late child free nights!

    1. ha ha snap! I spent about an hour the other day googling the shortest flight to somewhere hot from the UK so I didn’t have to contend with my screaming, puking children for a long time in a confined space! Oh how times change. Thanks for your comment x

  7. This is so funny. I was actually laughing out loud whilst reading. I totally get the Right Move thing – except I seem to find myself looking at $20million dollar mansions in Beverly Hills… because its so realisitc and all.. hahaha. Fantastic post. #DreamTeam

    1. Ha ha thats a good idea i never thought about doing it over in Beverly Hills thats a whole other dimension I can try as I love watching all the Housewives over there!! Great shout! thanks for your comment x

  8. Haha, this made me laugh! I’m often caught searching for houses in Notting Hill on Right Move, how the other half live hey! Thanks so much for sharing with #Blogstravaganza, hope to see you again next week xx

  9. Check times 10. All of this is yes. I don’t even have time to write a to-do list!
    My house used to be clean. Or if it wasn’t, it was because I was lazy. Now my house is messy but I swear I’m cleaning something every 30 minutes!
    I never thought someone could be so happy about diapers… (“Hi, my name is Jaclyn and I’m a cloth diaper addict”).
    #Blogstravaganza

    1. Ha Ha me too, i’m sure most of my day is spent cleaning but then at night I think ‘Why does my house look like a sh*t tip?’ thanks for your comment x

  10. I had to chuckle at some of these! Time lol! How come I used to have so much of it and now I have so little?! And yes to Rightmove! My favourite past-time!! #blogstravaganza

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